The History Of Saint Patrick's Day - Kiss My Shamrock

St. Patrick escaped to Britain where he promptly had another vision from God, where the people of Ireland begged him to return to help them. He went to France to study seminary, after which he returned to the Emerald Isles to spread the Good Word of God.

St. Patrick spent the last 30 years of his life there, involving himself with fervent activities that furthered human interests before the term was even thought of. He baptised pagans and ordained hundreds of priests into the Catholic faith. He oversaw the construction of monastaries and worked to abolish horrible, pagan practices (such as human sacrifices and slavery). Because of St. Patrick's administrations, it only took 200 years for Ireland to convert to Christianity and was the only example of non-violent conversion in all of Europe.

There are many things that St. Patrick did not do, that many people believe that he did. There was never a time when St. Patrick chased any reptile of any kind out of Ireland. There were never any snakes in Ireland. It is sometimes believed that chasing the snakes out of Ireland is an analogy for driving paganism out of the country. He also never made the comparison of the Holy Trinity to a shamrock, which was actually credited to someone in the 18th century. Of course, St. Patrick never had a personal conversation with God to bargin Ireland's freedom for all eternity. Don't be so gullible, Guiness lovers.

Since St. Patrick's exploits are very minimally recorded, he has become a symbol for anyone who can make up a believable story about his mythos. Catholics tout his acomplishments with the Catholic Church while Protestants dress him up as a Celtic monk who developed his own anti-Roman church. It is shameful that there are more untruthful stories about the history of St. Patrick than there are real facts about him.

For a millinium, Ireland has celebrated St. Patrick's Day festivities with a humble meal after Mass services. It took good 'ol America to turn St. Patrick's day into the alcohol drenched drink-fest that it is today. The first St. Patrick's Day parade took place only 16 years after the Declaration of Independance was signed. Most of the Irish in America at that time were members of the Protestant Middle Class, and fit into society quite well. It wasn't until the Great Potato Famine of 1845 that Irish prejudices flared up because of the newcomers' thick accents and Catholic faith. During the St Patrick's Day celebrations during this time, people looked down on the way the Irish took to the streets and reveled with booze and partying. This was the time when St. Patrick's Day stopped being such a religious occasion and started resembling what it is today: a massive party. The media made a point to deride these activities and depicted Irish revelers as little more than drunken monkeys in the street.

The poor, lower class of Irish had trouble finding jobs and the vast majority of immigrants lived in poverty and squalor. It took time for the Irish community to come to the realization that they held value to society, because of their vast numbers. They organized themselves and showed the political arena that they had the ability to tip elections how they pleased. Politicians began taking an interest in Irish relations and the political "green machine" was born. This is when St. Patrick's Day celebrations started having wider recognition among the community because of the political interest involved in them as politicians catered to the Irish and participated in the parades and feasts. The crowning point of Irish political strength was in 1948 when President Truman attended the New York St. Patrick's Day Parade.

America, Canada, and Australia are the biggest celebrators of the holiday, with minor observerances in Japan, Russia, and Singapore. Ireland has always observed the holiday in strict religious terms, even mandating that pubs be closed on March 17th. Recently, Ireland has decided to use the holiday to spur tourism. Over a million people attended Dublin's St. Patrick's Day celebrations over a long, multi-day event that featured parades, concerts, and fireworks.

So this St. Patrick's Day, have a beer. Enjoy yourself and quit worrying about work the next day. It's quite possible that your boss is Irish too, and he's probably more hungover than you are.

For your edification, here's a list of appropriate Irish Drinking Toasts...and a few curses.

TOASTS! -

"Thirst is a shameless disease so here's to a shameful cure!"

"Before you call for one for the road be sure you know the road. "

"Drink is the curse of the land. It makes you fight with your neighbor. It makes you shoot at your landlord-and it makes you miss him."

"May the road rise to meet you,May the wind be always at your back,May the sun shine warm upon your face,The rains fall soft upon your fields,And until we meet again,May God hold youIn the palm of his hand."

CURSES! -

"May those who love us love us.And those that don't love us,May God turn their hearts.And if He doesn't turn their hearts,May he turn their ankles,So we'll know them by their limping."

"May you melt off the earth like snow off the ditch."

"May his pipe never smoke, may his teapot be broke And to add to the joke, may his kettle ne’er boil, May he keep to the bed till the hour that he’s dead, May he always be fed on hogwash and boiled oil, May he swell with the gout, may his grinders fall out, May he roll howl and shout with the horrid toothache, May the temples wear horns, and the toes many corns, Of the monster that murdered Nell Flaherty’s drake. "